Have you ever said something out loud and immediately thought, “Oh my god. I just sounded like my mother,”? Instantly the horror of becoming old, and becoming your mother, washes over you, and you try to shake it off. But, you know, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. When your mother’s words escape from your mouth, it is a sign that your mother, for good or bad, has made a memorable and lasting impression on your life and the person you have become. If you’re lucky enough to have had a mom who cared deeply about your safety and your emotional stability, then this is definitely a good thing.
The Words of Your Inner Voice
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” –Peggy O’Mara
If that’s not true, I don’t know what is. When you constantly yell at, or around, your children, they will learn that yelling is an appropriate way to communicate their thoughts and feelings. If you are overly critical of your child’s performance in school, sports, or whatever, then they will grow up with that negativity in their minds. These aren’t the messages you want to send your kids. To teach a child to be calm when faced with opposition, YOU must be calm; even when they make you so mad. If you want them to succeed in life and build their confidence you need to constantly encourage them to try their best, to never give up, and to let them know it’s ok to fail sometimes.
The words, and the way you say them, will stick with your children for the rest of their lives. So you need to decide what your ultimate message will be. Over the course of their childhood and adolescence, your words and lessons will engrave themselves into your children’s brains; and then one day, when they are grown, your words will escape from their mouths. And a wave of horror will wash over them.